Senior Designer & Multi-Media Specialist — this title hangs, taped above my name plate. It’s my Official™ title at my very Official Office Job™. It’s also about 5-20% of my work on a given week. The rest of my time is spent doing much less “that sounds amazing!” work and more admin tasks like updating mailing lists, printing things for internal use, etc.
This is a pretty common occurrence, I think, when it comes to jobs like mine. I don’t mind as doing humdrum jobs can trigger my creativity. But it can be annoying. Especially when you’re told to print around 16,000 pages of difference forms, stack, glue, pull apart the now pads, and put them on the dumbwaiter.
Sixteen-thousand plus pages, two-sided, and an approximate 12 hours to print.
I could do other tasks while these jobs printed. I couldn’t, however, escape the All Office email to tell everyone to not use that printer for awhile. This became the most irritating part of the job. Not because it took long, but because I had to tell the same people the same thing every day for five days in a row.
On the second day, I said I was taking it again. On the third day, I said I was taking it in case they were curious. One person replied, “Like Curious George?” So I, naturally, had to reply yes with a Curious George gif.
That was fun. I even smiled for a moment. On the fourth day, I had some fun with it.
Thursday, February 23, 2023 at 8:05AM
Subject: In Today's News...
Message: The ADV Printer is once again taken hostage by Ada. How long will this last? Will it ever end? More at 11:30AM
Oh, hey, I laughed at that. Internally, yes, but I enjoyed sending that. One person who’s in an office near my cubicle liked it too. We’ll call him Bill. He said he’d send his ninjas in to get it. That’s when it clicked.
I knew what I had to do.
Thursday, February 23, 2023 at 11:30AM
Subject: In Today's News...
Message: Breaking news, Bill’s ninjas managed to pry the printer from the firm grasp of Ada.It appears to be in good shape and should be clear to print again.
This has been ADV News.
Suddenly, I was excited to send this email. I actually woke up the next day excited. That hadn’t happened for a year or probably much longer. On Friday, I decided death was the answer.
Friday, February 24, 2023 at 8:03AM
Subject: In Today's News...
Message: This just in…we’ve found the bodies of Bill’s ninjas who stayed to protect the printer last night. It seems that Ada is determined to keep the printer in her grasp.The authorities are looking into cause of death. More at 11:30AM.
That day I received the most comments on the email chain. I had the generic “too funny/you’re funny/this is funny” and “this made me smile/laugh” to people playing into the story. How dare I kill the ninjas. What will I do next? Other fun, joking comments rolled in from all departments.
I even had a few people I barely knew replying. I would strike up a conversation by simply walking into the break room at the right time with the right group of people. So, not a lot. But a substantial amount more than usual.
The gal who sits next to my liked it so much, she chimed in that Friday with her own little bit. We’ll call her Rachel.
Friday, February 24, 2023 at 11:46AM
Subject: In Today's News...
Message: My army was able to pry the ADV printer from ada!The printer is freee…...for now….
Coming back from the weekend, I already had a plan. I knew the stakes needed to keep going up.
Monday, February 27, 2023 at 8:30AM
Subject: The Printer Battle Continues
Message: After a long weekend war over the printer, Rachel’s army suffered many causalities, leaving the printer unguarded overnight this past Sunday night.This morning the printer was nowhere to be found. What could Ada be doing with the printer? And what is her end goal?
More at 11:30AM. This has been ADV News.
I did know, however, it needed to end. I didn’t want an every day pressure to send something funny. That and I was going to be done with the print job. I was okay with this. I had the perfect ending thanks to the same coworker who mentioned the ninjas.
Bill saw me in the break room and mentioned that ninjas weren’t scary enough so he’d have to try something scarier. Later, I found black & white flying monkeys printed on two sheets of paper in the printer tray. Apparently, he’d planned to tape them to the printer. He hadn’t gotten around to it.
Oh, but I could get around to it. So I crafted my perfect ending.
Monday, February 27, 2023 at 2:34PM
Subject: The Printer Battle Continues
Message: Our news had been suspended by pure terror. In an act of desperation, Bill released the secret Flying Moneys of Bomgaars. Ada tried to struggle. But it was to no avail.The printer has been recaptured. It’s free, hopefully once and for all.
Thank you for tuning in to ADV News.
No, I didn’t receive a standing ovation. However, coworkers who couldn’t find me mentioned that it must be because the monkeys took me captive. They also called it a saga and told me they appreciated it. It made them smile, and everyone needed that.
Ah, but Ada, you said you were told to stop!
I was told the day after I sent that final email. It’s a long, more professional email from my boss that simply stated that people had approached her (more like emailed as she works remotely) saying how it was very unprofessional. I needed to remember managers and higher-ups were in that email chain. Not just the people who would use the printer.
Because I know my boss, I know this wasn’t a concern of hers. It was most likely one or two of the aforementioned higher-ups. Maybe one or two complain-y non-higher-ups. I’m really curious, though, why specifics weren’t given.
I let people know I wouldn’t be doing it again if they brought it up and let it drop from there. I was sad. Rachel was sad. Another coworker who’s from IT was sad.
I didn’t fight it, though.
In my eyes, I still did what I meant to do: have fun and make others smile. It also reminded me that even in small, silly, internal email that there will be push back. Sometimes the push back will win. And that sucks.
But I think it’s still worth doing the silly things. Because what is life without them?
You have committed tomfoolery and unsanctioned shenanigans. You must be stopped!